Four and a half years ago I thought I was taking the biggest leap of faith ever. God told me to move to Haiti and I said yes. It was the best yes I’ve said in my life so far! I didn’t understand why God was calling me here. I had a lot of great things going for me and, in all honesty, it didn’t make sense. But there was no doubt it was God calling me and saying no to His calling didn’t make sense either. So without ever stepping foot in Haiti prior to moving here I hopped on a plane, met up with some lady named Rachel Bernard at the airport and started the best journey of my life. What I thought was going to be 6 months of serving in Haiti turned into 4.5 years.
There are so many words I could use to describe these years I’ve been in Haiti. I have been challenged and stretched more than I ever could have imagined. I have walked through some of the darkest, most painful and difficult seasons of my life so far. I have had moments of loneliness and confusion. And I’m so thankful for each of those hard times. They forced me to lean into the Lord. I learned to reflect on situations and figure out how I can become better through them, how I can react differently. I’ve learned humility, oh so much humility, as I messed up over and over and had to ask forgiveness.
Despite the challenges of the last 4.5 years, I can truly say that I’ve experienced joy and love like never before. seriously. These kids have taught me to love at a capacity I didn’t know I was capable of. Through loving them unconditionally, God has shown me a small glimpse of the love that he has for me! I would do every.single.bad.day over again to experience the wins, the victories, the JOYS that I have experienced in the last 4.5 years.
Last week I announced to the kids that on July 16 I would be moving back to America. It was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had to have. I explained to them that I didn’t understand why God called me to Haiti when He did, but now I do. He knew that I needed them to be part of my life. They will a.l.w.a.y.s be my family. I will a.l.w.a.y.s love them. It’s purely out of my love for them and for the Lord that I’m leaving. I do not understand why God has called me to leave Haiti right now, but I do know He’s calling me to go. Just like I came when I didn’t understand why He called me here, I’m choosing to be obedient and go. We don’t always understand God’s plans for our lives or the things He asks us to do. I don’t have a job to go to, yet. There’s not a lot about moving home that makes sense. But we’re not always called to understand! Proverbs 3:5-6 has come to life for me over the last few years. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and HE will direct your path. My “understanding” hasn’t been able to make sense of this yet, but I still Choose Him. The 61 kids that I’ve come to love as my own don’t belong to me. They are HIS! They were HIS first and they will be HIS last. I trust HIM to provide for them and be constant in their lives. I choose to believe that if He’s calling me to leave it’s because HE has something even better in store for them!
The last 4.5 years have been nothing but a gift to me that I will cherish for all the days of my life. Mission of Hope took a chance on me. They let a girl who had never stepped foot in Haiti move here and join their staff. They have believed in me, supported me, held me up, challenged me and done life with me, and will continue to do so! I am so thankful that I am able to transition out so well, as family, with an open invitation to come back! I’m thankful I get to continue to be part of the kids lives and that the staff here are part of my forever family!
Please pray for the kids and I as we make the most of the next 2 and a 1/2 weeks of time together. Pray for their hearts to be protected and that they will continue to walk in the confidence of having a constant Father in their life, Jesus.
Please pray for me as I make this transition home. I am expectantly waiting for God to show me what comes next, to provide for me financially, emotionally and in every other need I have! He knows my heart and exactly what I need! I can’t wait to see what city, State/Province and Country I end up in next. No matter what I know my heart is to follow Jesus, serve Him, and I trust Him to lead me!!! Saying yes to God isn’t always yes, sometimes it leads to really hard goodbyes, and I’m kind of dreading that. But it also leads to some new Hello’s and I’m excited to see what those look like!
Thank you for being part of my journey!!!
If you would like to know more about How you can support me through this transition, please email me at email@example.com.