Some morning’s I wake up and it still seems so surreal to me that this is my life now… that I’m not just home on a break and that I’m not heading back to Haiti in another week to continue my work at the orphanage.
As I’ve mentioned, this has been a painfully beautiful season. It’s been a season full of sweet blessing’s and joy, it’s been a season of waiting and it’s been a season of growing.
I’ve been so in awe of the Fall this year. Anytime I go for a run or I’m out driving I can’t help but be moved by the beauty of the colors. The weather has turned more crisp this week and it officially feels like Fall. While the colors are changing and the leaves start to fall I can’t help but see the symbolism of the changing of seasons in my own life.
I’ve realized a lot in the last few weeks. I’m always going to cherish my life in Haiti and I’m quite confident I will always deeply miss it. Some days my heart literally hurts because of how deeply I miss those 61 humans that have become part of my family. I miss my community. I miss that life. And that’s ok. That’s what I’ve realized. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. When I was in Haiti I missed my life here, but I had to learn to embrace the season God had for me there. It‘s time to do the same thing here. I don’t want to miss out on the beauty of a new season because I’m too busy wishing I was somewhere else.
God has blessed me with 3 incredible months of rest since leaving Haiti. In the last 3 months I’ve slept a lot, read a lot, joined a gym, and spent time connecting with family and friends (old and new!) I’ve had quality time with my cousins, my grandma, family and friends that are family that I haven’t seen in years. I’ve had so many opportunities to sit down with friends I haven’t seen in years and catch up on life. Not only has time with so many wonderful people blessed me, but it’s reminded me time and time again of how many truly incredible people God has blessed me with in my life.
Two weeks ago I started a new job! I LOVE it. It’s truly the perfect job for me in this season of transition. I’m the Program Director for a residential program for adults that live with Mental Illnesses. Our program helps empower and equip them to grow and get ready to confidently live independently. I seriously love what I get to do. Not only do I get to help people, but I get to be in a position that I’m growing individually and professionally. I have the most encouraging boss who is walking alongside me and speaks so much encouragement over me, she truly believes in me and values me and I couldn’t be more thankful to have that. I know that God is going to use this season, not only for rest, but as preparation. I believe he has very strategically placed me in this position while I’m finishing up school to prepare me for what’s to come in the next few years.
This season has been one of the hardest. Leaving the kids in the orphanage will always be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I miss their hugs, movie nights, laughter. I miss the way the pushed me to be better without even knowing it. I miss them. Deeply. But how truly amazing is it to know that, despite all of those things, not once have I questioned that God was calling me home. There is not one ounce of doubt in me that I was supposed to leave and that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. God is so so so good. I’m so so so blessed. He continues to provide every single thing I need. HE continues to put the right things in front of me at the right time.
Friends, obedience is far from easy. It rarely makes sense, especially at the time, and it can be so painful. BUT, Living a life of obedience is so beautiful, it’s so worth it, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So thankful for this journey, past and present, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds!